November 13, 2006

so today quite alot happened...well its 1am now...n i can't sleep as usual...sigh...cos at night when i sleep i hear very loud sounds comin frm under my bed...its like sum ppl banging two steel plates against each other...i was like wth...well...i dont noe wat to do...so dis afternoon i was on the com playing games when around 5-6, geri toked to me...i dont noe y i felt my heart beating so fast...n i felt dis feeling...i dont noe wat feeling...sigh...my holiday mood is totally crushed for wat i aso dont noe...i cant run away frm my problems neither can i face them...nvm...looking back at my life,i wished i was back then...well i guess i still have'nt moved on...or mayb i just can't...it's just happening too fast...n i can't let go of each moment...i wish jackie was here...she was always there 4 me...i could spend the whole day in my room wif her on my lap n toking to her bout my problems...it always made me feel much better cos she understood wat i was feeling...when i had nightmares she was there to comfort me....when i was sick she was always there to protect me...when i was bored she was always there to make my day fun...when i was sad she was there to for me to cry on...n she puts her head on my lap trying to tell me "it's ok i'm here for u...u will make it through"...well she was the only best friend i ever wanted...even now after a few months i stil have not moved on...i can't forget...n i never will...and she never expected me to be perfect...n stil i love her wif all my heart...n she knows thad...well for dogs they live short...so pitiful...n i hope she live her life to the fullest and mayb one day i will join her...i promise to take care of her n i will...i will never leave her to b alone cos i noe how much she h8s being alone...if i could just spend one whole day with her.....mayb one day i will be happy....the most happiest person in the world...but not now...well i gtg ....i'm feeling like i'm not alone... signing off

savy angel@ 11/13/2006 01:21:00 AM

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