forgotten memories.her past.forever her.

2007-08-25T20:18:00.000+08:00

Once more I'll say goodbye to you
Things happen, but we don't really know why
If it's supposed to be like this
Why do most of us ignore the chance to miss?
Oh yeah

Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
The best place to be when you're feeling like

Me! (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
All these things I hate revolve around
Me (Me)
Yeah! (Yeah)
Just back off before I snap

Once more you tell those lies to me
Why can't you just be straight up with honesty?
When you say those things in my ear
Why do you always tell me what you wanna hear?
Oh yeah (yeah!)

Wear your heart on your sleeve, make things hard to believe
I'm not feeling this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like

Me! (Me!)
Yeah! (Yeah!)
All these things I hate revolve around
Me! (Me!)
Yeah! (Yeah!)
Just back off before I snap and you'll
See! (Me!)
Me! (Me!)
All these things I hate revolve around
Me! (Me!)
Yeah! (Yeah!)
Just back off before I snap

Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears
I'm not feeling this situation
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like me
(it's the best place to be when you're!)

Me! (Me!)
Yeah! (Yeah!)
All these things I hate revolve around
Me! (Me!)
Yeah! (Yeah!)
Just back off before I snap and you'll
See! (Me!)
Me! (Me!)
All these things I hate revolve around
Me! (Me!)
Yeah! (Yeah!)
Just back off before I snap

2007-07-22T08:18:00.000+08:00

wah! ok the worst thing in my life now is "getting married" at 14...
anyway..it was jus a skit..
ah so busy recently..waiting for my "ever late" friend to show up to plan about my best frewn's birthday..we going to watch harry potter later..i m not really a harry potter fan..but its kinda interesting..the fantasy n all..after all its the second time we all get to out together, right guys? rmb the last time, we took neoprints n all..it was fun..other times i or another cannot come..sigh
i jus wish we were in the past..i love u guys!!
i cant believe u r not part of my school life anymore..when we were p5, rmb dhurga n me always after tamil lesson run to the toilet n stay there to watse time..then sumtimes teacher catch us n ask us to go to back to class..n rmb all those stupid fights we had wif each other? and all those letters of apology..its like..the best damn thing that i can hav in my life..if onli i could jus go back to time n stay there forever..it will nvr get boring wif u guys...
u all r the best..& i noe u will always be there for me when i need u..
& i can always tok to u..
well dzafira, happy birthday..i'm happy to telling u that i noe u for 8 an 1/2 years..wow..my trust on u is absolute..and the rest of u..i noe u all for 4-6 years..u all mean a lot to me..
and rmb dis, when we turn eigth teen.. we make this commitment that we will go to pub and drink to our fullest fill..kay i gtg
cya later..

& i nvr want these memories to die..
or fade away..

2007-06-15T18:46:00.000+08:00

today went to play badminton wif geri...at below *coughs* blk 460. then we go central buy bubble tea..fries..and scrapbk..sophia was suppose to come at 5 but she say she gt do other stuff so geri came back to my hse..edit photos..check friendster..disturb matthew on msn..

&today i m so damn ....... happy!

cos i finally got a cousin..&its a girl x)

&its not fair thad my brother get to c her..so sad..
my parents comin bac tomorrow morning..

& then we r gonna go out!!

& me will never get bored..oh yeah
not forgetting my plans wif my frewns for next week..a movie n go escape..

& i dun noe y i've been using &
but who cares?
today's a great day
just like any other good days i had in my life.

2007-06-08T14:30:00.000+08:00

4 june: FOR GERII!!

today go central wif hui yun,geri,sophia n me.& all the way they keep disturbing hui yun..cannot EXPOSE wat we disturbed her about..its a secret..shhhh.so fun lar..after thad took sum pics..

k i dun noe where they r.. lol..will upload photos once i get em..

5 june:)

i'm bored..well i'm grounded.lol.i can onli use com for one hr..i hate maths! need to do so many pg..argh!

6 june:X
my parents n bro packing..they going overseas for 10 days! wah...so busy going here n there buying stuff..den i aso follo..bought 2 shirts,a black n red,it was damn nice..and black pants..i still have not decided if i going for the bbq or not..but most probably i tink i going..sze ern,sophia,caren and geri..i tink i will hav a hell of a time there..

8june:]

my mum's been smsing me..n its gonna go on for 10 days..lol..ok...i was watching dis video at midnight...after watching incredible tales n other shows..den got advertisements so i change to mtv.i saw a video bout dis guy doing disco and his pants looked like skirt!1st i thought it was a skirt..after seeing properly, and laughing like hell i realised it was pants where at the top very big..so it was like..urghh dun noe how to describe..oh well..
hahas..i had a sweet dream..even though i nvr realli wanted it to happen..now i wish it would..weird but..

who cares?

2007-05-17T14:18:00.000+08:00

today get back almost all exams...ok lar all my marks..no failure..science and art paper left.i nvr take history and maths paper..so no marks...lol.eng got 63.lit got 60.mt got 62.lol!me n lynn's marks for eng were the same except for the newspaper article..she got 1mark higher..then during pw..walou the teach damn wat lar...soph,me,geri,sze ern,wuan yi and hui yunn play the mafia game.then he come ask us wat he doing then say everyone go bac to thier own seats and read newspaper...sian...i was doodling on my foolscap paper...denise was like blocking the teach view of me...so i slept.after skool went to minimart wif lynn..saw him..he was behind us and his stupid frewns were making noises.argh.after thad go bac home...then while walking i accidently stepped on a stick...i was like "ar..nvm stick onli..no pain so who cares.." and did not bother to look down..all of a sudden i felt a piercing pain at my heels..it was a STUPID RED ANT!omg...i knocked it off..it was damn pain...arghh i hate RED ANTS!esspecially getting bitten by one..they got pincers at the front of thier stupid face..sick man..awww...now its raining!if while walking it rained then i would hav played "umbrella" by rihanna and jay z and be happy like hell..oh too bad...

When the sun shine we'll shine together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your friendTook an oath,
I'mma stick it out 'til the end
Now that it's raining more then ever know that we'll still have eachother
You can stand under my umbrella.

[secret love]

2007-05-14T09:21:00.000+08:00

dnt down...art left!2morrow must go prcs aso to collect my results..so sian..i verii excited..i feel like i got a A2..yeah i verii confident..paper quite easy kay..doing art now..aiya..i dun noe wtf i shd do..i finished the 1st piece already...working on the 2nd piece now..woots!got a friendship ring frm the chubakas!today de dnt paper thye design production verii stupid k...walou they ask to draw two ideas on "balancing toys"...do we look like we play wif toys?well its over..i guess wat i thought is not true...mayb for once i shd believe thad it will work out..i dun noe...well..june's comin soon..i wanna go escape..i wanna go watch nancy drew..oh yeah..emma frm unfabulous(addie singer) is acting as nancy drew!cant wait..saw the trailer on one of my frewn's ipod nano...cool..kays..gtg do art..after thad its fun!

fade away

2007-05-13T18:41:00.000+08:00

wahhh...onli art n dnt paper left..well no need study for them so...who cares?
i feel one kind...like i jus wanna be alone..i dun wanna be at home or in school...i jus want to disappear..i can walk in the rain cos i got a cold...jus hav dis dreadful feeling...i jus want it to fade away.i feel like i'm falling...i hate everyting now..all are changing...n its so fast.i cant let go..no..i cant move on...i love dis song.its so deep...

It's true, we're all a little insane
But its so clear
Now that I'm unchained

Fear is only in our minds
Taking over all the time
Fear is only in our minds
But its taking over all the time

You poor sweet innocent thing
Dry your eyes and testify
You know you live to break me don't deny
Sweet sacrifice

One day I'm gonna forget your name
And one sweet day
You're gonna drown in my lost painFear is only in our minds
Taking over all the time

Fear is only in our minds
But its taking over all the time
You poor sweet innocent thing
Dry your eyes and testify
And oh you love to hate me don't you honey
I'm your sacrifice

(I dream in darkness
I sleep to die
erase the silence
erase my life
our burning ashes
blacken the day
a world of nothingness
blow me away)

Do you wonder why you hate
Are you still too weak to survive your mistakes
You poor sweet innocent thing
Dry your eyes and testify
You know you live to break me don't deny
Sweet sacrifice

2007-04-21T17:10:00.000+08:00

2007-04-13T21:11:00.000+08:00

woah...2day is friday the 13th..well unlucky day for me but it all ended wif the rain...i was walking home after skool wif sophia..after thad she went off to her blk n i saw caren,thanu and claire..when walking it started to rain..ah huh and thad was when i felt happy..we all loved the rain..talking bout putting our wet stuff in the oven and other stuff u realli dun wanna noe..hahas...so fun..and now i jus came back home..i was under the blk near greenview and i saw someone vandalise sumting on the table...******* luv ******-30.3.07...lol...must be sum kind of rumor...cant be bothered anyway...angry wif sumting...well i dun tink it matters now...he will always be like thad..i cant change him no matter wat..pathetic...nvm lar...jus got to get on wif my life..mayb wat i told her actually made her understand thad....i'm totally high now...listening to techno hits..yeah i noe thads not me...but when i get sugar rush..i do!k wanna go watch supernatural...
[chocolates and the rain r my onli solution to my problems...]
and my darlink too...

2007-04-08T18:24:00.000+08:00

i listen to loud music when i'm sad so thad i can listen to wat i wanna hear.
i lock myself in my room so thad i can lock myself in my own world.
i go to sleep so thad i can step away frm reality.
i cry so thad i could let the pain all out...but it never ends..

i'm jus angry..she did not even bother to kol and apologise...she always said thad i had changed but she never knew she thad she herself had changed alot..frm gangs and hanging around under void decks wif guys to flunking maths...she serioulsy sux in maths...a girl who was so damn good in maths turn out to be like dis...i dun noe wat to say..well today's two of my darlink's b'days so

anyway i shd be happy..rite..
well i finally could get songs into my mp4 and well had so much of fun yesterday at vivocity watching freedom riders and after thad acting like a bunch of crazy teens..well even though bad tings happened i hav t forget them n move on..the onli ting is thad
IE CANT MOVE ON.

2007-04-07T21:52:00.000+08:00

i no mood to blog so i shall not.pissed off by sum ppl doing stupid tings!!!arrggghhhh seriously .... !!!!!!!!get lost frm my face n dun even tink bout tokin to me n apologising to me...hate ditchers...they so totally rhyme wif bitches which is her!!!!!!!ARGGHHHH...thad stupid boy whom u hardly noe is more important to u rite..fine.
u always said i shd not be emo
u always tok bad bout emo ppl
but deep inside u jus dunt noe how emo ppl feel!!!
u never knew me...
god damn u
get lost!!!
cant believe it..u knew me for 6 years but...
u act so stupid...those gang ppl r more important eh
thad incident made us learn a lesson..
but u repeated the whole ting..
come on wake up!!!
this is reality..
even then u WILL NEVER NOE I FEEL ABOUT MY LIFE..
cos its not ur life..
goodbye..
i wished i never met all those stupid ppl..
ppl i always end up fighting me
i rather take a gun n point it at my head..
u all hate me being emo
but in the end it was u all who made me emo..
jus get lost
and leave me alone..
i jus wanna be alone.

2007-03-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

sigh...we fight again...y did ie even come online..argghh..(i thought i would c soph n could comfort her cos sze ern kol me and said thad soph dun want join cos she broke a mirror...)he dun believe me..then even scold me..walou..na beh..argghhh...i m so frustrated...third time u noe we fight...stupid...i dun rmb saying such tings to her...idiot..i want to die lar...FUCK!every time aso fight...dun want to tok to me then dun tok lar!!!who aso want to tok to him...stupid!ARGGHHH...moody already...
[ie wish ie never met ue... never met all idiots who make me feel so miserable..argghh...go enjoy ur fucking life...i dun care!dun tok to me i dun care!jus get lost frm my face is enough..]
cried myself to sleep again...

2007-03-15T12:42:00.000+08:00

yesterday had a dream bout glenn..aiyo y all of a sudden i aso dunt noe...we jus sat n toked...mayb becos i was tinking of wat his frewns and my gang aso said bout him..thad he was nice..well..i aso wonder...in thad dream he jus toked to me and it was so good..we were listening to each other..thad was all i ever wanted.but i can never open myself completely jus like thad..thads not me..mayb dis way its best..saw my chocolate darlink yesterday..hahas..so unexpected...luv my new blog song..so sad..but its a nice song..y do all good things come to an end..i find myself asking thad question so many times..i aso wonder..sigh.

2007-03-12T19:29:00.000+08:00

had a verii weird dream yesterday...sho weird can..bout MR SEONG!arrgghh..i sneak out of skool then he come find me n scold me..lol..tink too much already..so tired sia...go run wif sophia and gerii..gerii want to join campus..hmm..i support u guys k!jus go n do ur best.jiayou!

more funny videos..

2007-03-12T19:19:00.001+08:00

today lynn sent me jus stupid funny vidoes... enjoy..and jus make sure u dun laugh till u drop off ur chair..my fav is "u kick my dog!"..verii funny...

2007-03-11T15:51:00.000+08:00

ENJOY!I LUV DIS VIDEO..ITS LYNN N ME FAV SONG N VIDEO!!!FOR MORE BLOODY COOL VIDEOS GO WATCH HAPPY TREE FRIENDS AT www.happytreefriends.com

2007-03-11T15:18:00.000+08:00

walou...yesterday go ws..so sianz..tired n lazy lor to go...go there for pw..do survey.i saw david..last time i saw him was at skool during his badminton match..ar...i miss those days...was so fun.anyway i was moody for like 4-5 reasons...main wan is thad i jus did not want to be there..then at 4 my frewn come my hse then watch happy tree friends and chat wif theva...haha...so fun!after thad play wan scary mystery game..so nice!!the characters all so freaky can.(prescott,ophelia,dr macdermoth and the cardinal)http://www2.warnerbros.com/web/arcane/home.jsp...k..when my frewn was staring at the com so hard i jus went boo and she was like dun lar..verii freaky k..my heart beating like hell..cool game though..kind of like a mystery game. at 7 was studying history when i fell asleep..hahas..lol..then denise kol me...my hp vibrate like hell..i thought wat..then we chat...

(at night i jus stood at my balcony n rmb those days when i would always gaze at the stars and the moon..and then u would come into the balcony and will stand up to c wat i was looking at..but u were too short n so i carried u..but instead of looking at the skies..u would look at the ground..hahas...amd till today i stand there wif tears down my eyes cos i realised thad those were memories of the past and yet they feel like it happened jus yesterday..ever since then i had no room for another friend in my life cos it was always me n u..tings changed n u noe u were not the onli wan i lost but ...i jus cant believe she ... died...n nobody knew wat her prob was..well..wats done is done..god bless her where ever she is..)

now i toking to sophia and ie m acting as a guard n she is acting as a person in the beach...haha...so funny..she say the toilet so low class quality change to better quality then i say i cant...n she got mad n said she wanted to complain to the boss n i said the boss was on holidays...and his phone is currently out of order...lol...so lame...i guess dis is wat u kol RPG-role playing game.hahas.kk..
gtg..later daddy gonna clean the tank..i want to catch the stupid sucker fish n touch the arowana...(it acts like a shark..trust me..when i put the blood worm in to the water..the blood spreads then it chages direction n go towards the worm den BAM!it swallows the whole ting..sho cool rite..)
holidays r super good...
can sleep longer...hahas.

2007-03-10T12:19:00.000+08:00

march 8- teacher during maths lesson ask me if he is boring..then i honest mah so i say yah..haha...seriously boring lor..walou everyday rite notes...after notes after notes!!!i going to die lar...then got history test..so easy but the last pg i forgot the 1st questions..sianz.on friday got health screening..i aso like lynn all of a sudden tink of injections!walou...i will cry n sream k..i rmb doing thad once in a hospital(not in s'pore) ant every1 was looking at me..walou...pain k ...inject near my wrist into the veins...argghhh..the feeling still haunts me k..i hate needles!!!i got a total of 14 injections in my whoel entire life n i dun want anymore!!!then during mt..saw him.was in the counselling room..wif another girl...so sad her life!hiya...i would hav killed myself if i was her..i wonder how she could keep all thad pain in her for 4 years..ok...no eng lesson cos teach aso so sain do to the vilage by the sea shit.so boring can..keep descibing..walou.want to mess wif my head is it..stupid bk..so ex sum more.could hav bought singapore true ghost story wif thad money.
(god are u listening to me?)

MARCH 9-hiya...today so paiseh..dis denise lar...walou...go tell oph bout thad stupid dream at escape...denise another wan hav weird weird dreams...then she keep laughing paiseh can.aarggghhh...ok...i'm totally going nuts.then during health screening sumone else more paiseh.haha..it went like dis..well i was sitting wif lynn they all...then, lynn said thad she suffered frm EBSS and asked zhi qing to guess wat it means..ok.her answer was...EXTERNAL BREAST...OMG..she said thad cos of the b word...lol..so funny can.dirty minded sia she..must hav been influenced by sum1..then hy even worse...she freaked out and said" huh?!!?! ZHI QING U GT BREAST CANCER?!?!" and i started laughing like hell mad...we all started laughing like hell..oph was sitting near by so obviously heard mah then make fun of zhi qing...we all being pervetic but i could not help it k..i was like thad ever since primary skool..cos of HIM lar..hiya..then i told her must amputate it before it spreads (if earlier stage lar) then replace it wif milk bottles!!!hahahahahaha...(i m laughing now) den lynn like wat size? abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz cup? omg...den i suggested use z...safest!!haha...omg...hy ar..ok then later lynn told me a joke: very farnii but bad...frm hy wan..dis is how it goes:

HY:i tell u all joke ar..lame one..k.ok pretend the 4 of us (arenia,lynn,hy n zq) die den go heaven..den heaven got alot of ducks wan...so if one girl step on the duck she will marry a ugly guy n if a guy steps on the duck den he will marry a ugly guy...unfortunately they all step on the duck,den got 3 ugly guys but zq got a shuai guy.y?
everybody: y?
hy:cos the guy step on the duck!
omg i was like laughing like hell again (today become funny friday..hahas)
everyone understand?onli those who noe zq will understand...
woah hy so bad sia...then got back report bk..i got 3 underline..diou..k gtg out now..later i late my frewns scold me..
woah longest post i ever posted..k..

2007-03-06T17:05:00.001+08:00

woah today during dnt we got scolded for 1 hour...shiok rite?hahas..onli two kuai ppl do...then oph rite on her acrylic "DNT IS..." i say stupid lor...then she rite design n technology...lol.then i ask lynn come up wif sumting thads stands for dnt...like during music class once she say r&b stand for rabbit and beetle..lol..then she say DUCKS N TORTOISES!HAHA...sho funny.after thad around 4 i go home...my mum told me at sumatra got earthquake n i was like again? walou...so sianzz...then she say kana hit s'pore aso..but not in pasir ris area..got tremors at my father's office..and the area around there aso lar...walou i so ...like pissed off...he so good can feel tremors leh..i 14 whole years never feel any stupid tremors then he feel..hiya...sianzz..after thad got another earthquake...once was at afternoon (we were having dnt in skool) shiok u noe if gvss kana...then no need to attend DUCKS AND TORTOISES.haha.so stressed lar..so many hw leh..dun even hav time for other tings anymore...

2007-03-05T14:17:00.000+08:00

after eruption

before eruption

us 3.

caren n me.

the 4 of us

the dead rat

4 of us again.

woah...never update...

3 march 07

CIP day- saw a dead rat, kitten, jellyfish n got to throw stones and balls into the water...well it was fun..i was wif geri and she found 5 balls!!we litsned to songs on the bus.well actually we were suppose to do the spice gerden but 2e1 was doing it!woah we so lucky sia..yeah...the beach damn dirty sia...well we took lots of pics...after thad went to mac..did another disasters...up there r the evidence:

=) gotta gt skool now...hema waiting for me.i kept her waiting.

2007-03-02T23:11:00.001+08:00

today was alright...recess time i was not attacked by two weirdos wif a bag full of ice...so i was safe.we were angry wif her...i dun want to say names so its personnal.well i jus was angry...not thad i hate her or anyting...i aso found out i am super happy nowadays...lol...an then u noe wat..our lit teach change...then i saw him outside..he look like verii strict..until he said good morning class.everyone was laughing...he had a female voice!omg...so freaky..then mr singam was on chap 5...so funny sia he..he shout then scare ppl walking outside one...hahas.

2007-03-01T15:41:00.000+08:00

waoh today so fun!!!during recess sophia, deena n hidayah all dump ice onto me...walou...so wat leh...i so wet..then go back class so wet..after thad lit test...so hard!!!dunno wat shit aso the poem was written...wat "war is simple like a monument"?..lol.then mt...so boring..go counselling room and sleep while mdm tajuddin was doing her own work.during eng gerii so high!!she took denise paper say she wanna copy then after thad use liquid paper and rite ' i luv matthew". we were laughing like hell lor...then denis elike so blur tok bout hy..."shaking"..n stuff...5 mins later onli then she realise..walou...by then we were laughing like hell already lor.ar...so fun.after maths test caren n i go lp buy chocolate then sit near gvss blk n eat...jillyn came later...then denise and hui yunn...we go disturb denise like hell...so fun..so hyper today..
[i m happy...if only i can feel it everyday..but once again. I M IN REALITY.]
maths test was alright..sure pass wan.

2007-02-27T16:40:00.000+08:00

yesterday got back maths paper..i failed!omg...wtf..then today during recess THE SO CALLED MASTERS [hidayah n deena] kept sneaking behind me and dumping ice into my back!!so freakin cold k guys..well i m gonna get u alll back!!!after thadgot tamil ta PRCS and the tamil teach never come...so fun!!we sat outside n keep toking n playing...the teach in charge very blur so he never say anything...then when going back home we were like "yah teach we finish our work..no need to pass up today...on wed then pass up" then we ran off.today got back dnt.aso failed.sigh.i m so HOPELESS.then caren,i n cherie go ws to do history.we saw sophia and sze ern darlinks.hahas..then go mac do our work...was feelin quite...oh well i dont tink it matters now.
[i was taught forgiveness and love yesterday.is it to late to give it to ue?]
tralalalalalalala..
LOL...

2007-02-24T18:15:00.000+08:00

hahas...so funny...i talking to naomi on her webcam now.we talking to each other.her brother act siao...haha..then her brother disturb ehr n she screaming away...so funny.then she listening to farenheit..aiyo.off n on the microphone..haha.so fun.she in penang say she will come to skool on mon.k gtg

2007-02-24T15:26:00.000+08:00

Don't know what's going on
Don't know what went wrong
It feels like a 100 years
I still can't believe your gone
So I'll stay up all night
With these bloodshot eyes
While these walls surround me
With the story of our life
I feel so, much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I dont miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
Now things are coming clear
And I dont need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
So I'll stay out all night
Get drunk and fuck and fight
Until the morning comes out
Forget about our life
I feel so, much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I dont miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
First time you screamed at me
I should have made you leave
I should have known it could be so much better
I hope you're missing me
I hope I've made you see
That I'm gone forever
And now it's coming clear
That I dont need you here
And in this world around me
I'm glad you disappeared
I feel so, much better
Now that you're gone forever
I tell myself that I dont miss you at all
I'm not lying, denying that I feel so much better
Now that you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever
And now you're gone forever

three days grace-gone forever

if we were frewns: 100% laughter, 100 % fun, 98%happy,

4% talking bout our life,0% trust.

2007-02-23T23:36:00.000+08:00

micro organism playing golf on sumone's face...pokpokpok.
made of blutack

by lynn and me =) in the bus

han yue and wee wee.

again.

me and wee wee!

all of us wif wee wee!

wee wee.

hahahaha....

sho cute!

read lynn's blog for more info

walou...2day during science...got scolded for noting lor..so stupid.he go through graph then say "oh u shd hav learnt dis last year...BLABLABLA...so now i shall move on to chap 4.then go through digestion ask us to do wb chap 4.k then today he ask us take out graph paper plt graph.wth!he cannot make up his mind is it.graph is not even in our syllabus!!!wat shit!then most of us never bring.then tok n tok.mr seong aso come scold us.maths test delay or.walou.anyway after go to lynn's hse play audition.later so fun...we take photo...caren neevr come to skool!!!aiya.skool really sux.

[and once again ue said goodbye to me.but it feels so diff.]

even if we were frewns, tings between us will never be the same. sumtimes i jus wish ..........................

2007-02-22T14:26:00.000+08:00

ok today so fun...alot of funny tings happen...like wat happened to geri's hair n sophia's story of how she climbed over the fence of her hse n forgot to bring her keys...n nicholas was like gving out the art thingy then say "mrs PAY!!' haha...so funny.she paiseh lar.got maths test 2morrrow...oh my freakin hell...i like not ready.then got hw summore.aiya.lol

[u toked to me n i was happy but i jus did not noe the right tings to say back ue.]

all those memories can never be erased.it only moves in with time.let there be more memories of us. good ones.

2007-02-21T17:08:00.000+08:00

ok so frustrated..still cant figure out y he acted like thad to me...wat jis damn prob is..arrgghh...skool so tiring!!!hate it..do work until gonna die already....then got test sum more 2morrow n friday..oh my tian.nvm lar.now doing eng hw.i feel so...... jus cant let it go.dunt noe if wat i did was right or rong.i m so confused.still feel like i'm in my own dreams but now i realise i'm in reality.memories keep haunting me.mayb i shd....nvm.i jus need sum time alone.dunt noe if i can figure them out or not.well i got to try.k got to go do hw...the tamil teach go give us so much hw!!!!opmg...1compre then 2 compo.aiya....k...
[she wants to be heal, she want to feel.trapped in her dreams now unable to face reality]

I M SORRY. IT WAS ANGER NOT HATE.U WERE MORE THAN A FRIEND TO ME.

2007-02-20T19:26:00.000+08:00

haha.lol. so funny.shakila go take pic wif my hp.well i did not notice.she was jus playing wif my hp then i saw the camera thingy open...i block my face lor..lol..dhruga like so serious sia thad she did not even notice us!!!omg.hilarious.actually i was fallin asleep kay so thads no joke.

so bored.feelin hopeless...

HER.

2007-02-20T19:20:00.000+08:00

ok 2morrow got skool!!!oh my tian...well got a few hw left to do...gotta finish em up.i found the song thad hidayah n deena rote , the bon jovi song its my life.remeber thad guys? thad was super funny kay.2morrow bringin it to skool...oh yah i got backup...so u all watch it.i m gonna hav my revenge.hahas.yesterday watch the nun which i thought was a horror movie but to my disappointment it had sumting to do wif pyschology.oh man.so wasted.well me so hungry.daddy buying pizza so must wait.aiya.aso dun noe wat time he comin.i forgot wat hw i got leh..umm must go ask.ok i gtg do my hw.
[starving to death & still bothering to do hw?u must be kidding.]

2007-02-19T19:32:00.000+08:00

ok..pissed off now cos i was multi tasking as in watching tv n using com...n then my dad jus change..arrggghhh..ok...i noe never blog so long cos i got no time [k now he change bcack channel] n now r the holis..sigh so bored..lol..yesterday whole day watch movies...umm dungeons n dragons , da vinci code,harry potter..no horror pic!! aiya..nvm mayb tonite watching one wif my mum..i feel so happy for no reason but skool gonna start soon..i hate skool...seriously boring..to all white sandians..last friday i got into wsps...too bad u all went back after thad treat but me n my frewns kind off went back at 2.30 n managed to get into the skool compound at 3..we ate the food there n were toking but the times we had...memories..jus miss them so much..even now i feel like i m still 11 years old when i m 14.i jus cant move on.well secondary skool life sux..so stressful n ..... dont wanna tok bout it..oh yah , DINA & HIDAYAH!!!i m gonna get u on wed..u put ice on me was so damn freakin cold n i was like moving about the whole time..kays..sophia aso.anyway thanks guys for telling me not to be sad..well i m not!!i super happy kays...on wed i will be high or mayb seriously retarded but who cares wif u peeps around my life is EXPLODING!!!hahas...even though friday i got serious moodswing feeling so fucked up bout being in gvss well wat can i say we hav our own problems...ok i want to go do sumting now...
[shd i take lollipop or chocolate?]

mayb both will do =)

2006-11-30T15:58:00.000+08:00

jigoku shoujo season 2 opening- NiGhTmare

tell me what time is it
tell me it's a dream
embrace me

this abandoned town
i seem to recall it
from the photograph collection you sent me
why am i alone?
i am alone
soon, soon, i realise it's a dream
i run through the rubble
i fly through
i search for the exit to my dream
i have to go
i have to go
i hear your voice somewhere
it's moving
only within time
i won't see eternity
tell me what time it is
tell me it's a dream
embrace me
move my heart that almost stopped
please
you are next to me
probably seeing a different dream
i don't need the sun's luck
i just yearn for your smile

2006-11-27T15:01:00.000+08:00

i jus cant stop tinkin bout her...sigh...of all the ppl y her? does she really want me dead...like i said i'm lost in between dreams n reality...everyting seems so real thad i myself dont noe where i belong...she has something to do with my life..mayb SHE WAS frm my past life...omg! who noes...sigh.i'm freakin bored...lol...got nothing to do...feel like playing arcade mayb i may feel better..dis years holidays sux..so freakin bored..well i go do something else..cos i got nothing to blog about...i go youtube watch japanese anime lah...

2006-11-24T18:54:00.000+08:00

yesterday polish nail with my mum...then i play monopoly with my nephew(he beg me play) and my bro..of all the games i was the richest even though i got bankrupt a few times...then he go back at 4pm.my mum go out for dinner sumwhere n i very bored..my primary skool frewns kol me ask can go out to TM with them to celebrate Ting Poh's birthday...i say ok loh...i remember last year when Theva stole Ting Poh's journal n out it on my table ask me read..he wrote bout his father...having sum prob..then theva told me it as ting poh's. he very irritating anyway...anyway speaking of theva i saw him today at the arcade in downtonw.i was shocked to see him there...i did not even recognise him.he stared at me but i pretended not to see him.i jus did not noe wat to say if i c him..neither did he...then kol my friend..i saw shawn, his brother, leslie n a few more ppl.we actually wanted to wath horror movie but it was rated so we play arcade...then go downtown play arcade then go lp chat bout secondary skool...at 4+ go back home...ting poh go prank kol debra....so cool!!!! nvm next time then i go prank kol her...we thought of going vivocity n watch movie next month...want to go watch tv...had a few dreams...must be missing them a lot...

happy fruit family

2006-11-22T11:46:00.000+08:00

long time never blog....ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!my hse sooooo NOISY!!! cos my nephew n brother walou way i can't take it!got headache sia...anyway yesterday so fun!!!i go TM wif Caren, Damien & Geri...watch movie...they all meet at downtown then come n fetch me...we all take taxi go TM....damien so rich...hehe...k kidding...then we go dont have grudge 2 so we watch flushed away...soo funny...k...then take neoprints...damien so camera shy then we drag him...then we take n we go shop we kol each other the happy n healthy fruit family:damien-son
savii-daughter
geri-mother
caren-grandma...i noe its not a fruit mayb coconut...
& then i got myself a billabong black n white wallet...nice..i liked it..the colors very nice but add a bit of pink nicer...then shop summore...damien very good boy...hehe then when going back time damien n caren take taxi together awwwww sooooo sweet!!!k k lah kidding damien n caren...dont come get me...k...i jus joking...well thanks guys for the fun yesterday...anyway i gave geri a chance n she was alright...caren i guess u're right...k i gtg kol my friend i cant take the noise here...cant listen to any music...spoiling my mood...k signing off

2006-11-13T20:08:00.000+08:00

i love dis song! its by pink-who knew...i like the lyrics of the song...well 2day i changed my layout a few times cos i did'nt noe which was nice...i h8 simple layouts that's my characteristic anyway i tink i will stick with dis layout its nice n its something i wish for...dis layout quite simple but i like the clors very good combination...well i dont noe why but i cant keep jackie off my mind...sigh every place near my neighbourhood filled wif dead memories...i wish i could go back time...i really do...n stay there forever...at year 2004...it was the best year of my life...n i cherish it wif all my heart.i guess time really flies.memories all sealed in my mind.if onli i could relive those moments again.well i'm watching "jigoku shoujo" cant find some videos so watching another anime...i love "jigoku shoujo" the opening n ending song very nice and the girl very cute n pitiful...every episode so sad n nice...ok i'm bored...even though i'm online.well my bro failed his eng...the bad thing is thad i hav to tutor him!!cos my eng very good..sigh...wth...then he say he dont want to go to skool cos very boring then my mum say i wake up EARLY n tutor him..walou...i want to sleep late!!!!then i very lazy wake up early!i want to break my record of staying up till 5.30 or 6am...yesterday i saty up till 5am.wth then i never get headache good ar...then i sleep till 10.30am cos DENISE KOL MY HP!!!then it ring so loud.i thought wth why my handphone suddenly playing song i dreaming ar.then i pick up n heard denise voice...then she like ah y u sound so diff...ur voice change...obviously i jus wake up...k but now i not tired...i never sleep afternoon.. n dis time must remember to off my hp...anyway sumbody kol me yesterday at 1.54am..i dont noe wth it was...cos i was watching tv then realised got miss kol..i was online frm 11 - 1.30am.lucky caren online then i a bit crazy chat wif her.caren!!!know she can make it through like i said i will always be there 4 u!!!n together we can make it through ...memories...they never die...i miss jackie!!!i stil dont understand y dis happened..everybody around my neighbourhood loved her...she was soo well known around my area cos of her "cute ladylike walk" & friendly behaviour...stil remember her tail so short..haha...soooooo cute!!!it was the shortest tail i ever seen among all jack russels...& she had a bf...he was so fast...i remember thad jackie always chase after him...she really liked him n it was so cute to see the two of them running around...everybody loved her except for god i guess ...sigh.i'm listening to dis song: paris hilton-nothing in dis world.as much as i h8 paris hilton i love thad song!!it's just nice...video quite .....k nvm...go c for urself...dont noe wat to do now...so bored..i miss all my friends.onli three more days.then go out wif friends watch movie..but i stil never tell my parents yet..k nvm..stil got 3 days...i really slacking alot.anyway it does not matter...k mayb later i blog again..me very bored want to go watch tv...

i still hav not moved on....

2006-11-13T01:21:00.000+08:00

so today quite alot happened...well its 1am now...n i can't sleep as usual...sigh...cos at night when i sleep i hear very loud sounds comin frm under my bed...its like sum ppl banging two steel plates against each other...i was like wth...well...i dont noe wat to do...so dis afternoon i was on the com playing games when around 5-6, geri toked to me...i dont noe y i felt my heart beating so fast...n i felt dis feeling...i dont noe wat feeling...sigh...my holiday mood is totally crushed for wat i aso dont noe...i cant run away frm my problems neither can i face them...nvm...looking back at my life,i wished i was back then...well i guess i still have'nt moved on...or mayb i just can't...it's just happening too fast...n i can't let go of each moment...i wish jackie was here...she was always there 4 me...i could spend the whole day in my room wif her on my lap n toking to her bout my problems...it always made me feel much better cos she understood wat i was feeling...when i had nightmares she was there to comfort me....when i was sick she was always there to protect me...when i was bored she was always there to make my day fun...when i was sad she was there to for me to cry on...n she puts her head on my lap trying to tell me "it's ok i'm here for u...u will make it through"...well she was the only best friend i ever wanted...even now after a few months i stil have not moved on...i can't forget...n i never will...and she never expected me to be perfect...n stil i love her wif all my heart...n she knows thad...well for dogs they live short...so pitiful...n i hope she live her life to the fullest and mayb one day i will join her...i promise to take care of her n i will...i will never leave her to b alone cos i noe how much she h8s being alone...if i could just spend one whole day with her.....mayb one day i will be happy....the most happiest person in the world...but not now...well i gtg ....i'm feeling like i'm not alone... signing off

how long is forever?

2006-11-10T17:20:00.000+08:00

its not thad i dont noe thad u hav changed...mayb its becos i lost contact wif u...trying to forget u...i dont noe..but i'm lost in my own world...n its not thad our friendship dont matter...of course it does...u tink i've been sleeping peacefully for the past few days...well..no...i cant...i really need sum time...n i did not say joey cant be ur frewn...i just want to ask u sumting...y do u want to be frewns wif a depressed girl who does not even understand ur feelings??after losing u i felt like i lost against god again...all i ever wanted was to hav a frewn who would understand me...well mayb u will notice thad i changed next year...cos sumting just happened to me which left me like forever lost n dead...i really need sum time...until then its best thad i'm left alone for a while....i jus hav to find my happiness again till i can go on...n i dont h8 u...at thad moment u said thad cos i was feeling ....one kind....i'm sorry...sometimes when u say "forever frewns" i always wonder how long forever is...

translated lyrics of anime songs i like

2006-11-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

this is hellgirl-enma ai
translated lyrics for the anime, "girl from hell"-jigoku shoujo

one day, an upside-down butterfly will fly towards the light
by ur side, in the mirror, as you cut your hair
footsteps echo in the hallway during class
bringing with them the sound of endless rain
i can feel a radiant existence
it blooms into a sweet flower but bears a poisonous fruit
even now, on dis rainy day, i wish i could bridge that day with today, sky by sky
in this craziness, uncertainty
in each of these people's memories, where can we remain?
in this craziness, you gave me life
and this single memory, how long can we keep it safe?
in this craziness, uncertainty
in each of these existence, where can we remain?
in this craziness you gave me life
each & every existence, how long can we keep them all safe?

my feelings...n emotions...

2006-11-09T17:22:00.000+08:00

hmmm...well yesterday i watched "girl frm hell" for the whole day...it was so cool..well i watched it to lesson the pain i was in...i did felt much better...she toked to me on MSN ask me got wat hw...well i did nit go to skool so i not so sure n asked her go check class blog...then at night i could not sleep....went to watch tv...i was OK ...at 11pm i felt like checking my mail n see who was online...so i did...i switched in on and waited...then went online n saw thad i got one E-mail...there they rote "new testimonial frm goriilla wooll.....".i was like ok wat would she hav written? i went to check my friendster...there was a video...i watched it n i saw THESE THREE words which changed the way i was feeling...i jus did not noe why but i felt thad way...i did not noe whether to accept it or delete it til today...then i immediately switched it off...n watched tv wondering bout it...at 12.30 i went to my room n started to cry...i noe how u feel,geri,cos i said thad words to most of the special ppl i love..but they never get thad message...u hav to learn to let go...we stil can be frewns but we wont hang out,wont kol each other n chat,listen to each other's problems n helping each other...i'm sorry but dis is wat i got to say to u...mayb ur friendship wif me was important to u but pls i want to b laft alone for a while...i lost more frewns then u n i hav learned to moved on...even though those memories r right deep inside me...pls 4get me...take it as u never met me...take it as if i'm invisible...u dont need me...u dont belong in my mind..my memories...in my world...i will alwas b a cursed n sad person...leave me...dont bother bout me anymore...u say u dont want to change cos nobody will care...hav u ever thought if u changed i would care?of course i will..i want the old u....but if u dont want its ok...well i went to my room n cried...riting a poem cos i could not find my penknife-u noe how much pain i was in...for losing another frewn...well it does not matter...here's how the poem goes:
many sleepness nights
with powerless lights
i lie in bed
with so many things in my head
why me???
it cant be!!
i feel like hell is where i belong-
where i sing a sad song
& roam around in pain & sadness
in a world filled with darkness
where my past & memories are 4ever forgotten
with a heart as soft as cotten
i sit in the corner
thinking bout her...
i cant take this anymore
my wrist;showing so much blood & gore
how long can i hang on
or look upon;
on you my friend?
let my life end
let my pain end
let my sadness end!!!
for i can't take this no more...
let me fall to the earth's core
let me be invisible
i don't need any help available
let my soul wander around in pain
on this stupid earth;for what will you gain?
erase me from ur memories
erase me from ur worries
i'm a hopeless soul in a pool of sadness
with my shadow cloaked in darkness
and i'm standing here in tears......

dis is how i feel....i got other tings aso in my mind...i'm suffering in silence...n jus let me be...
i will never be the same again...n mayb u dont hav 2 change for my sake...jus b wat u want...cos i dont bother...we can be frewns but it will be different...like i said before...it's ur choice...n dont pull jillyn into dis...nor joey...well u hav joey...so b happy...dont care bout me...jus like everybody else....tc...

dreams

2006-11-07T22:11:00.002+08:00

i just watched wicked science and it was so cool!!!about elizabeth trying to scare this actress who came to her school in dis cool haunted house!!!it was so cool...the effects n evryting was like so real...anyway in the end they did see the ghost...hey who lnew being a ghost was so cool but weird...i had dis weird dream yesterday....one of these guy slaughtered my neck(my head did not come out....my eyes did!!!) and i died...everyting was black when thad guy kill me n i could feel pain then blackout....then i was a ghost!!!i was like trying to tell my family wat happened(i had a diff family...super weird!!!) so thad i could be a ghost cos my body was in pain n it was too weak...i looked at myself at the mirror....n i saw i had no eyes!!!!my eyes...they were gone!!! i looked like Ju-on but i did not freak when i saw myself...soooo cool...haha...but i wanted my eyes very badly...or else when i die i would not b able to see...so i went to look 4 it n i found it lying around sumwhere(i hope i dont lose my eyes when i die!!!)haha....so weird..then i brought it along n my lips were turning blue..i could not stay in my body anymore...i went to tell my mum n she was like "oh..nvm we got a debice thad can change u bac...bring ur body to live!"....super weird !!!!!then i was like how u noe it even works..at thad time i had a bulldog{which i h8 the most of all dogs} but it was cute n its name was froggy becos of the way it was leaping like a frog!!!haha...then we put him in the machine n he changed into a ghost!!!i was like holding him so i would not lose him and he was floating around wif my hands around him(i'm a ghost so probably i could hold him) and iwas like quick i cant stand the pain...i either become human or ghost!!!then i went in the machine wif froggy and we were bac to normal...the onli prob was my eyes!!so i just put them bac...so weird!!and my so called "family" went to find who killed me....it was wierd but sooo cool....being a ghost....is like u dont feel anger or pain{unless u go to hell} in fact u dont feel anyting!!!it's so cool...i wish i was dead...the way i live here...its like i dont LIVE here...i EXIST here....anyway my day will come..till then i got to wait...today woke up at 12nn.dreams r so weird....i died in my dreams like 5-6 times....but its fun....but i always die a horrible death....haha...stil fun...i get 2 experience wat death is like...when i was sick last week i could not sleep cos there was tooo many tings in my head...then the next day go c doctor n got medicine...so at night i could sleep cos it caused drowsiness and there was still so many tings in my mind...but the medicine took effect n guess wat...i had 5-6 dreams in 9hrs....so cool!!!i love those dreams....all my best frewns n glenn were there....one girl frm my class{i keep having dreams bout her}...then my best frewn whom i jus patched up wif on oct...and glenn{acting as always}...and my other most closest frewn{she noes everting bout me n my sec frewns...so do i} whom i always chat wif about skool n stuff....well i wish i could dream of jackie....i'm not dreaming of her anymore...mayb she 4got me...sigh...well as long as she's in a good place...i will always b happy 4 her =)...anyway she should b happy 4 me too...cos me n frewns r getting along very well...alot has gone through dis whole year...memories flooded in my mind...well sumtimes they r better left to be laughed at or to be cried at....anyway i love ly class n my frewns{except for sum thad is)...i will b happy...gtg sleep later my mum scold me for using com so late at night n not sleeping early and waking up alte...well i can onli sleep after 11pm...signing off to another world...my world =)

my feelings towards HER

2006-11-06T17:36:00.000+08:00

i h8 HER.i dont understand why she keep saying i dont understand when she is the one who dont understand us....wtf...i'm really angry...she used us as a spare tyre...she tink she wat!!!walou like she understand me like thad...anyway its over so i dont give a damn or a ****...i tink i made the right decision for now and if SHE is not willing to change i dont noe wat to sat or do...well i dont understand y she did that...anyway there's no point...come to tink of it...she even bad mouthed me!!wait not only me, the whole class aso...omg....wat can i say...she tinks my parents r like hers...she TINKS..wat does she noe...and i want to tell her off i dont regret wat i said or did...i dont regret losing HER....i dont care anymore...i'm not even feeling guilty cos it is not my fault...i cant stand her complains,her nonsense anymore...well...i dont want to tink bout it anymore..cos all of my prob r solved and i just want to feel happy....ive found the frewn that i need n want...to tink she was the 1..sigh...friendships dont last forever...in my life that is...

my angel

2006-11-06T15:17:00.000+08:00

i looked out of my window
& hear the birds chirping high & low
and then all of a sudden it starts to rain
at that moment i was in great pain
sighing at all of my mistakes,regretting
for what i had done,made her feel nothing
as i stood there
standing on a chaiir
i looked down
to see an angel in a white gown
all of a sudden she sat beside me
& told me,"time puts some changes,so just let them be,
but there are some, you can change back
just put in effort,cause that's what you lack"
and with that she disappeared
all i had to do was to talk to the girl i feared
so i called & talked to her and everything was alright
then the rain stopped and i could see the light
i looked out of my window
and saw a rainbow
i waited for the angel,to thank her,looking at the park
till it was dark
with passing cars
and shinig stars
i waited,but she did not appear
"she just disappear
how to thank her?"i thought
high & low i sought
but she just was'nt there
wherever she was,she showed me care
and with that i'll never forget her
wherever to she might have venture

THE REASON OF FRIENDSHIP

2006-11-06T15:04:00.000+08:00

the moon has the sun
therefore the days are fun
a car has its wheels
just like us having heels
a dog has its owner
so it is not a loner
the sea has its sand
for what purpose i dont understand
but everybody has some1 special,someone to hold onto
and that is why,i have you!!!!

1e2 poem of love

2006-11-06T14:21:00.000+08:00

lalalalala......hey i got someting to tell 1e2.....featuring the class love pairs:DENISE LOVE MATTHEW(MAUAHAHAHAHA~EVIL LAUGHS~)
LYNN LOVE JOEL
AND HEY IS A POEM I DEDICATE TO 1E2'S CLASS LOVE PAIRs

as they left their home soon
to go to romantic rome for their honeymoon
she said she did not know what to wear
and asked him if it was nice he said "yes!i swear
and can we just leave now!"
and she said "how?
i still dont know what to wear...ok fine i'll wear this"
he said"ok good!"
and then she said"hey who's that in a white hood
laughing away"
can we just leave!the sky looks gray"
so they left not caring who that mysterious girl was
but still she could not stop thinking cos
the girl looked familiar....
amelia?cornelia?cecilia?
sigh why does'nt the name ring in my head
she thought...then he gave her a dress,it was red
she said "wow" and they reached the airport
in their pink fort
she asked him where they were going to
and he said its a surprise,do u need to use the loo?
then as they checked he told her they were going rome
then she cried"i'm going home"
and he asked why
cos i hate rome she said with a sigh
then he asked her then where do u want to go
i thought i told you so
u were'nt listening to me!!!
i want to break....and jus let me be
and with that she took a cab back home
thinking bout stupid rome
his heart melted as he watched her go
"i cant believe she said no!"
i thought of bringing her to paris after going rome
but instead she misunderstood and went back home
so this is how the love tale ends
but do watch out for the next series of "2e2 poem of love"
thankieeeesssss and smiiiiiiiilessssss

a day at the park wif my BEST friends

2006-11-06T10:52:00.000+08:00

even in the dark
sitting in the park
there will always be
my two best friends and me
bringing light over the darkness that cross my path
telling me jokes;doing something to make me laugh
i'm never left out,with my two best friends
the happiness and joy, it never ends
i never feel alone
Caren and i listening to our favourite ringtone
after that caren tells denise the history of greek
but instead of listening,she told me she had a very bad week
then Denise will talk to me about "that's so raven"
a comedy that starts at seven
we started saying all the funny dialogues used
and caren started to look amused
why?because of the way we were laughing like freaks
then comes Ophelia,looking for something she seeks
she was in this white gown just like in my nightmare
and i was one who seem to really care
cause i ran away
without hearing what denise and caren had to say
denise,Ophelia and caren ran after me
and Ophelia shouted as she ran "its just a prank u see"
to me i heard nothing, i was just finding a way out
then i stopped running(cause i did not see her)and asked me what that was about
i asked denise where Oph was not caring what denise was saying and she said "oh!nevermind she should be over there
and Oph came out of the blue and gave us a scare
Denise and Caren immediately grabbed me(to stop me from running)
and Caren said "it was all their idea;they were quite cunning
u see it was all a prank"
as her words went into my head and sank
i thought "nightmares r just the opposite of reality.maybe Oph is my friend and not someone i hate
anyway we are friends,its all just fate
we all laughed,talking bout what had happen as we went back home
while Denise kept thinking her and Matthew in romantic rome(hehe)